I was at a celebration of life. My best friend’s father passed on. These past three years have had more than two hands worth of passings…. It is really hard to see things happen suddenly, unexpectedly. The memories of our last encounter and all of encounters flew to me like a vision. The memory of our last meeting was a magical experience. I was still warded in the hospital. One day, coming back to my room after my physiotherapy, I received a stick tab with a note wishing that I was well and that Uncle S was also in the hospital too. I was to call him and that he could visit my room, or I could visit his.
Through my spinal injury ordeal, I have learned that things happened for a good reason. I am taking every opportunity to be in the moment. I immediately took up this opportunity of paying Uncle S a visit. I was determined to make the trip to his ward independently on my own. After a much needed little rest on the bed, I was gently helped up, and out of bed. I took a deep breath, strapped on my back brace, stood up straight, wobbled slowly but surely and steadily with my double elbow crutches down to his ward. It seemed a tedious, painful long journey but I made good progress for I finally made it to the voice behind the message.
We talked about life, family, good wishings on love ones, and what we were working towards. He showed me his elbow injury and I explained mine only with minimal robotic movements. It was a breath of fresh air for me to be able to see someone close, that I never expected to see in the hospital. He taught me that sometimes what needs to be done is not what people want to hear, but someone has got to do it to achieve what they want.
The nurses came, drew the curtains and were confused for a second, to which of us was the patient for blood pressure readings and medication. After a few laughs, we pointed them to the right direction.
That was Uncle S’ last day in the hospital and we said our goodbyes. Seeing him leave the hospital motivated me even more. I need to work harder to be able to leave the hospital too. It was always a blow to my morale, and a huge motivational envy booster when other people came and left the hospital so fast, yet I still had to be there. So I did the work…
A lot of sad events in life happen out of the blue. There is no time for closure and no time to resolve. It is painful when things happen this way. It is easier for me to accept when I am not directly involved, but it is so disheartening and painful to see loved ones trying to hold themselves up in such tender moment of their lives.
Each day goes by as just another normal day. It could be the last day, or a start of something brand new. The perspective is how we see the glass, half empty or half full. Today we can cry about yesterday, or rejoice that it happened and go through the motions for tomorrow.
Times are tough when something is lost, and cliché is true enough. We do not know what we have until it is gone. These times of hardships are to challenge us and change us as a whole. If we are not done growing and there are still lessons to be learnt we will be in this period. Only when we have fully learnt everything we need to learn, we will be ready to move on. For the lesson phase, we have to get through all the material, experience it, and then we will be able to move on, able to apply it, or just have it.
Celebrate and treasure what you have. Work towards what you want. Feel the whole experience. Be with what is, for everything in life only happens once.
What are you thankful for?