I’ve finally hit a wall, and I don’t know if I should continue. I feel like I’ve been working so hard for almost two years, just to try become like a ‘normal’ person and it’s taking so long. This gradual time till now feels like everything’s been broken down into particles, and those particles into smaller pieces, each piece slowly floating in the still current of time. Time slowing down, feels great on a holiday or to just relax, but when I’m trying to heal, I want it to speed up so I can just get back to the basics. I’ve been trapped on Alcatraz and can’t wait for my life to begin. I feel a full stop has been put on my life and I’m caught on the sidelines.
For progress to be made there has to be struggle. I guess I must be making a lot of progress, because I’m struggling every day. Everyday is a new challenge and a day where I face my injury, stating it now that I won’t settle. I won’t quit. The morning shines bright and beckons for me to step up. Doing plus one and solid, I walk every morning to the hospital. I’ve got to warm up anyways, so here’s a place to start. Instantly I am in the zone, I am training round the clock. Straight from the get go, I am working on my balance and coordination every time I brush my teeth. If I’m brushing my teeth with my right hand, then I’m balancing with my left leg. After the top half, I move down to my bottom set of cavity free pearly whites, this time it’s left hand single right leg stance. We only get better by doing more, so I do more… and then some with everything I do, I close my eyes to game up and intensify my balance.
Buzz* buzz* buzz* silence. buzz* buzz* buzz*. This is not a bee. Unlike usual alarm clocks mine is silent. I wake up to waves of vibrations. Set on the corner of my bed, the episodes past through me with stimulating conviction. It is time to wake up. There was a time before this that I believed being awake during normal hours was not needed, but there is a time and place for everything. Now I am bringing myself to the next level.