I’m back to square one again. I’m home in Hong Kong, things are the same, but I’m different, the internal fire within has been turned up and growing even stronger.
Previously I was training with uncertainty, but this time I’m training with conviction. I’ve walked through the doors of uncertainty and have been turned back. Most might see this as a failure, but I don’t. I’m ramping up my rehab, because I’ve seen the other side and know it’s possible, I’ve put my foot through the doors and I want more.
“ He who sweats more in training, bleeds less in war.” – Spartan warrior creed.
I admit it. On top of fervour pain, I’m still scared of heights, crowds and to touch a basketball, but it wasn’t always this way. Before the accident, I didn’t understand how people could be scared of heights, I didn’t mind crossing the herds of zig-zagers on the street and I definitely didn’t mind playing basketball, I loved it.
I just don’t to fall, break my back and end up in the hospital again. I want to run the other way, but I know that’s not the solution. If something so unpleasant can trigger unwarranted emotions and fear, it can also help me overcome it right?
There are three ticks.
Tick one: With height I got hypnotised and it doesn’t bug me as much.
Tick two: I don’t go out much, but what better way to train with crowds than in the bustling streets of Hong Kong.
Tick three: Pending. With basketball, well basketball… I guess I’m going to start using it in my rehab session. It’s not only a physical healing of giving and receiving vibrations, but also a mental element.
Since coming back, I’ve created a plan that evolves with every session. I’m rehabbing with swimming, basketball, and pre-hab – preventative rehabilitation. As Morgen Freeman said in the film Lucy, “ It’s up to us to push the boundaries from evolution to revolution.” I’m aligning myself with my healing, so I can heal optimally. Training once to twice a day, depending on how my body feels.
There’s a concept I want to share with you called MED – Minimum Effective Dosage. It takes Pareto’s 80 20 principle of taking action that requires the least effort and yields the greatest reward. For me, that’s designing a health plan to maximum the yield for health, at the lowest maintenance of cost for time and energy.
I don’t know where the tunnel will end, so I keep training myself to be ready for the day life will knock at my door, instead of me going to its door, and will be ready for the day it knocks, because opportunity, only knocks once.
This has been yet another heavy sadden moment, but I know my emotions will pass and I’ll rise above it. See things in life can get better. Everything that happens in life is not to us, but for us. It is to strengthen us. My success drives me, as my failures strengthen me.
We might think we’re searching for a way to lead us somewhere, but the truth is, we’re already on a path through every little action we take and habit we act upon. I kept thinking that I was training for one day when I’ll be ready for life, but life’s already here, it’s happening. This is my current position in life.
So, to become what we want to be, we cannot remain what we are, we have to change what we are. This means, to get to where we want to go, we either have to stay on the same path if it’s right, or change the direction.
So what’s the answer?
Sometimes in life we are looking for an answer, a closure. I want to know if I’ll fully heal, but I don’t want to know if I can’t. In short, if there was a real definitive answer if I could get healed of not, I wouldn’t want to know, because if I was doomed to fail, I would just quit. It is in the not knowing that I strive to do my best, so I’m better for it. Sometimes the answer lies in acceptance when we continue with blind faith, it might not be the answer we’re looking for, but there’s the answer.
Keep continuing in blind faith.