In Hong Kong:
What am I doing? I feel I lost my zest for life. I no longer have interest in anything. I just do it because I know I should, and I know it’ll be good in the long run, but I really can’t be bothered to do anything now. It didn’t start out like this though. When I first came home, I was motivated, and I was bursting full of life.
Motivation is finite, but practical steps get results. Continue reading
Dribbling with Faith
I’m back to square one again. I’m home in Hong Kong, things are the same, but I’m different, the internal fire within has been turned up and growing even stronger.
Previously I was training with uncertainty, but this time I’m training with conviction. I’ve walked through the doors of uncertainty and have been turned back. Most might see this as a failure, but I don’t. I’m ramping up my rehab, because I’ve seen the other side and know it’s possible, I’ve put my foot through the doors and I want more.
“ He who sweats more in training, bleeds less in war.” – Spartan warrior creed. Continue reading
Things happen one after another, some good, some bad. My dad woke up from his unconscious state, trained, and can now walk as well as speak. He responds when I speak to him. Good.
Bad. They say things happen in 3’s. My nerves gave out, I got a digestive tract infection, and then a cold. I was on the mend and just devised a new plan to gain supreme energy… when I couldn’t foresee what came next.
Stepping Into a New Begining
Able to get on the first plane, I prepped my body for the next. This time I was building a body to vehicle me towards my dream. Since I’ve made it back, I want to share this gift with the world and help others too.
So I trained even harder, accepted my offer into physiotherapy, and bought an aeroplane ticket. Though scared, I had just talked myself into going, and so was ready to face it with no reservations, until… Continue reading
Flying To See My Grandma
They wheel-chaired me forward. I admit it. I was scared, afraid, and excited. Tears pushed against my eyelids as I tried to hold them back. My heart raced, and I was shaking… and a few tears leaked out from the side of my eye, so I sleeved them away. Everything I worked for encompassed into this very moment.
Over taken with anxiousness I kept repeating a quote by Michel de Montaigne “A man who fears suffering, is already suffering from what he fears.” But it didn’t really help. “ Final boarding call! Final boarding call to Malaysia!”
For my first time painting, I decided to express my recovery.
It’s been tossing and turning in my head. I think about it when I’m awake, and dream about it when I’m asleep. How do I know it’s right for me? I don’t know what the future holds, but what I do know, is how to make the right decision and that going down either path will impact a ripple for what’s coming up.
For a period of time I stopped. I’ve stopped writing, reading and rehabbing. It’s not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. My goal in recovery was to help others through the experience of overcoming my adversity. I was getting strong, but was I strong enough?
Oh no, it happened again! My back gave out. It’s the first time this year, and it always comes at the most inconvenient of times.
Last year it happened three times, all within similar scenarios. There is a list of six possibilities that cause back failure and only three that need to be present for it to occur.
As far as the train could go, I rode it to the end of the line. It was a man-made island filled with modern steel and massive machinery, an international hub of commute and dreams. Here I’ve come and gone, bringing people to the gate, hoping to go off, but to only be smacked by reality. The truth was, that I realise it was not my turn yet. The possibility of going was such a well-justified dream, just that I couldn’t withstand the realities of the consequence to be shaken and bedridden again if I were to be injured…
“ Congratulations! You’ve graduated!” A physio stuck out her hand and greeted me. The smiles and handshakes came and I was filled with so much happiness. These two years dragged on, but I’ve made it through. Nothing quite touches home the way it happens when force to listen, learn, think and live it with no choice.