Trapped and enveloped in a tunnel, thudding noises started. Dud* Dud* Dud* Follow by an Eeek* Eeek* Eeek* and then a Gee* Gee* Zzr*. I felt so helpless, yet hopeful at the same time. I’ve been waiting for this. Shots of on going vibrations course through my body, as my eyes closed trying to forget the surrounding chaos pinned a constrained body.
I was trapped in Plato’s allegory of the cave.
In Hong Kong:
What am I doing? I feel I lost my zest for life. I no longer have interest in anything. I just do it because I know I should, and I know it’ll be good in the long run, but I really can’t be bothered to do anything now. It didn’t start out like this though. When I first came home, I was motivated, and I was bursting full of life.
Motivation is finite, but practical steps get results. Continue reading
Dribbling with Faith
I’m back to square one again. I’m home in Hong Kong, things are the same, but I’m different, the internal fire within has been turned up and growing even stronger.
Previously I was training with uncertainty, but this time I’m training with conviction. I’ve walked through the doors of uncertainty and have been turned back. Most might see this as a failure, but I don’t. I’m ramping up my rehab, because I’ve seen the other side and know it’s possible, I’ve put my foot through the doors and I want more.
“ He who sweats more in training, bleeds less in war.” – Spartan warrior creed. Continue reading
As I go out into life, I’ll be filming the process so you can come with me. There’s a video at the end of me giving out free hugs 🙂 Enjoy
I’ve been packing my room, and packing my life, because I’m being evicted. The student accommodations office said that because I’m not a student, I have to leave the dorms. They and potential tenants have been prodding me to go.
It’s okay though, because I’m not moving out, I’m moving on to greater things. It’s hard to move during this moment of heartache, but things will only get better when I move from this place.
With this opportunity I’m saying yes to life. There’s no shame in taking the full time I need to recover. School can wait. With this new outlook on life, I was presented with surprises, one thing leading to another. It started with a mysterious post it on my door. Continue reading
Things happen one after another, some good, some bad. My dad woke up from his unconscious state, trained, and can now walk as well as speak. He responds when I speak to him. Good.
Bad. They say things happen in 3’s. My nerves gave out, I got a digestive tract infection, and then a cold. I was on the mend and just devised a new plan to gain supreme energy… when I couldn’t foresee what came next.
How do I explain that to keep my smile up, sometimes I need to fight gravity lying down?
My smiles don’t come easy, but it’s worth every bit. Even if I’m having a bad day, I can smile, because I got out of bed today. To me, that’s a great start to an amazing day… even if I’m floored in the afternoon for the next 11 hours. Continue reading
Stepping Into a New Begining
Able to get on the first plane, I prepped my body for the next. This time I was building a body to vehicle me towards my dream. Since I’ve made it back, I want to share this gift with the world and help others too.
So I trained even harder, accepted my offer into physiotherapy, and bought an aeroplane ticket. Though scared, I had just talked myself into going, and so was ready to face it with no reservations, until… Continue reading
Flying To See My Grandma
They wheel-chaired me forward. I admit it. I was scared, afraid, and excited. Tears pushed against my eyelids as I tried to hold them back. My heart raced, and I was shaking… and a few tears leaked out from the side of my eye, so I sleeved them away. Everything I worked for encompassed into this very moment.
Over taken with anxiousness I kept repeating a quote by Michel de Montaigne “A man who fears suffering, is already suffering from what he fears.” But it didn’t really help. “ Final boarding call! Final boarding call to Malaysia!”
For my first time painting, I decided to express my recovery.
It’s been tossing and turning in my head. I think about it when I’m awake, and dream about it when I’m asleep. How do I know it’s right for me? I don’t know what the future holds, but what I do know, is how to make the right decision and that going down either path will impact a ripple for what’s coming up.
For a period of time I stopped. I’ve stopped writing, reading and rehabbing. It’s not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. My goal in recovery was to help others through the experience of overcoming my adversity. I was getting strong, but was I strong enough?